need not apply

Over the past few weeks we have been daily scanning the Internet in search of a home.  Our move is coming up shortly and, all things being equal, we'd like to have a place to live.   We're high maintenance that way.

We've tossed around the pros and cons of renting versus buying too many times to count.  I think at this point we would be open to either, depending on what comes available.  However, considering we will probably only be at our next duty station for a relatively short time, renting does sound like a pretty appealing option.

But this is where it gets tricky.  There are quite a few rentals in the area, but understandably, having a larger family with young children rules out alot of them.  

However, I had no idea just how many of them it would rule out. 

 I've noticed as I've been calling around, the question of children comes up fairly often.  Several times I've been asked by property managers or landlords about the number and/or ages of my children.  Last week as I was talking with someone about a property for rent, I was having a really hard time getting straight answers from him.  Several times he brought the conversation back around to my kids. (Just for fun, I was intentionally not volunteering that information.)  After he brought it up a few times, I said that I did have several young children and asked him if that was a problem.

He quickly back-peddled and assured me that it was not a problem at all and that he wasn't even allowed to ask that question.  Funny.  He did ask that question, didn't he?  Anyway, I didn't really get anywhere with the rental info, so I just marked it off the list.

I've considered that maybe I'm being just a bit over sensitive to this.  Maybe they are just asking out of curiosity or from a desire to truly be helpful.  Maybe.   Until today.

Ken called a listing we found online for a large, 4 bedroom house that looked as though it would fit our needs nicely.  He left a message and the owner eagerly called us back 10 minutes later.

He told us what a great house it was, what a great area, etc.  Then Ken asked, just to be sure, that it was a 4 bedroom.  He said that it was, and then asked (of course) how many children we had.  I heard Ken tell him that we had 5 young children.

Before the man had a chance to respond to that, Ken asked him if  he would consider a 3 year lease, which is usually very popular with military family rentals.

His response?  And I quote, "Not with 5 children, I won't."  Though I couldn't hear the other side of the conversation, the look of Ken's face let me know that he was not pleased with how this was going.  The man, realizing I think that he may have sounded a bit discriminatory, began explaining that he was sure that this house just wasn't a good fit for us.  Too small, he said.  Which it wasn't.  And suddenly, he remembered that it was technically only a 3 bedroom, not 4.  Really?

I know that such ignorance really shouldn't bother me or surprise me.  But sometimes it does.  I can respect that people want to keep their homes in good condition and sometimes children can be messy.  But seriously, they're not animals, they're kids.  And by the way, all of these homes do allow pets, just not many small children.

I think what bothers me most is the undertone that children are a burden rather than a blessing.   That they are something to be merely tolerated rather than embraced.  

Yes, they make life messier.  And I suppose if our goal is to have the perfect home and the perfect car and the perfectly tidy life, that may be a problem.  

Fortunately, that's not our goal.  God has used our children to save us from that idea of perfection and show us a picture instead of His goal for our lives.   Our children add more richness into my life in one hour than the most beautiful home in the world would in a lifetime.

So, if you think that my kids don't fit into your world of perfection and the American dream?  You can keep your white picket fences.  I'll take my kids.  Any day.