why I love this guy...

packin heat

Over the holidays, we went to Alabama to spend a week with my family. Christmas was great, of course. We hadn't been home as a family in nearly 2 years so it was a treat for all of us. The kids just love spending time with my parents and all of the extended family. Their favorite part, I think, is getting to experience living in "the country". Right now, unfortunately, we live in the middle of suburbia. There are alot of fun and valuable things about rural life that the kids miss. But for a week over Christmas, they got to experience country living, the way I grew up... and they loved it. They played outside almost non-stop (because in AL you can play outside in December..... July, not so much). They put pennies on the railroad tracks, they checked out cotton and cows and tractors. They got to feed chickens and pet a donkey and see sheep. They drove a golf cart all over the fields (Hannah even learned to drive) and even ended a few of the evenings by a bonfire. However, one of their favorite new experiences was shooting their first rifle.

On Christmas Eve, we took the kids our in the back yard and the older girls got to shoot for the first time.

Because really, nothing says "Christmas" like shooting something.

It was a family affair. Four generations, gathered on this sacred day. To shoot stuff.

I was impressed with hubby's skills. I think he's a southerner at heart.

We didn't shoot anyone.  Just targets.  But the kids thought it was so cool.

I even got to teach the girls to shoot on the very first rifle I ever shot.  I was about their age and I have great memories of shooting with my dad and granddad.

It was very special mother/daughter bonding.

 

But now that I knocked the rust off my skills.... don't mess with me...

...cause Mama's packin heat.

a marathon

Well, our first week of Jake's new therapies went way better than I could have imagined.  He loves his new preschool.  When I picked him up, both days he met me with a smile.  He isn't able to really tell me exactly what he did there, but I could tell by his face that he had fun.  He did tell me that he "loves" preschool and thanked me several times for taking him there.

His new speech/language therapy went just as well.  He really enjoys his teacher and is in a therapy group with only one other little boy. All of his teachers (speech and preschool) are young and fun and so eager to work with him.  I can't say enough what a blessing all of this is.

Next week (hopefully) all of the paperwork will be to place so he can start his ABA therapy.  Thankfully, as I mentioned earlier, his therapist is also his preschool teacher, so I'm hopeful that the transition will be easier for him.

After such a banner week with Jake, sometimes I can forget just how far we have to go with him.  At home or in an environment (like this preschool) that is catering to his needs, he can really seem like such a typical child. (I'm learning that "typical" is the PC way to say "normal" in the ASD community....it does sound better, doesn't it?)  

Anyway, as was the case this week, I can tend for forget(?) or just be lulled into thinking that things are better than they are, maybe?  Then, we go on an outing.... to get a haircut or take a sibling to the doctor or to the grocery store.  Wham.  It's like a punch to the stomach, as I realize we have much further to go in this journey than I wanted to believe.

I'm learning how to deal with his behaviors in public.  Honestly, I have no idea how to do that.  And what's more, is I'm trying to figure out how to deal with my other kids who are (justifiably) embarrassed by how their brother is behaving.  I would love to tell them not to be embarrassed or tell them not to worry about what others think.  But, quite frankly, I'm having trouble telling myself that sometimes.  How bad is that? 

In the day to day right now, we're beginning a gluten-free, casein-free diet. I can't tell you how overwhelming that feels.  I look at recipes and I've never even  heard of half of the ingredients.... much less used them.  Xanthum gum, anyone?  Making all of our own bread and eliminating everything with wheat or milk ingredients: pretzels, yogurt, cheese, milk, cereal, goldfish, crackers, sandwiches, pizza, tacos.... basically everything he likes?  Needless to say, it's a huge change for the whole family.

I know I can learn to cook this way, but boy, the learning curve is steeeeep. Thankfully, I have some great friends who are ahead of me on this journey... encouraging me and sending me recipes every step of the way. Even in the limiting dabbling that we've done in this diet so far, we seem to be seeing some positive changes.  So, I'm in.  If there is a chance that a diet change could help this little guy, we'll eat cardboard if we need to.  (And from the taste of some of this stuff....that just may be one of the ingredients.)

So, it's one step forward, two steps back.  But some weeks, it's two steps forward and only one back.  I'm seeing that this is definitely a marathon and not a sprint.  And I'm thankful for all the encouraging emails and comments from so many people that are helping us along the way....you're like the guys handing out Gatorade at the 2 mile mark.  There is still a long way to go, but God is still providing and I know He always will.

provision

An hour ago I left Jacob at preschool for the first time ever.  He was a little hesitant, but handled it beautifully.  I think I'm more upset by the whole evolution than he is.  I know this is good for him, but still. He's my baby boy.... by my side every morning for the last 4 1/2 years, so this is a big change for both of us.

This preschool is just one of the many ways God has provided for us lately.  After Jacob's diagnosis, it was recommend  to us that he would benefit from preschool.  Along with the therapies that he is/will be receiving, being around kids his age in a social environment will help him learn the social skills/behaviors that he needs.  While I agree with that, actually finding a preschool presented itself as a whole different challenge.

While he needs to by around "typical" children, he is not "typical", therefore requires a bit of extra time, attention and re-directing.  Understandably, this is more than the average preschool teacher is able to do, while managing an entire class of 4 years olds.    We looked at a couple of different preschools but all the ones we considered were either unwilling to take on the added responsibility of an ASD kid, or willing to take him on as long as he wasn't too different.... didn't require too much time and attention.

** Let me insert here that I don't at all blame these preschools for this.  They are not equipped for special needs kids and asking them to take this on would be unfair to them and to Jacob.

Well, God provided.  As He always has.  Through a variety of providential meetings and conversations, we came upon a preschool that is run by 2 ABA therapists out of their home.  It is a class of 5 children with 2 full time teachers, both of whom are trained in working with kids with autism.  The preschool is specifically set up to teach typical children and kids with ASD together, purposefully engaging them with one another so that the ASD kids can learn from the typical children.  Really.  How perfect is that? I'd never even heard of such a thing.

It gets better.  Our insurance approved Jacob to receive all his ABA therapy from his preschool teacher!  So, 2 days a week he will be at "preschool"....learning from other children and being taught by 2 ABA certified teachers.  And 3 days a week, a friendly, familiar face will be is therapist.

All of this is taking place less than 10 minutes from our house, with hours that fit perfectly with the girls school times.  Can you tell that I am more than a little bit thankful for all of this?  

I so love this little boy and am so proud of him.  I can't believe he's old enough for preschool  And.....as I type this, I am watching my littlest boy play quietly next to me with Legos.  So, now I'm off to get some much needed one on one time with this little guy.  A morning with only one child at home?  What to do?  The possibilities are endless.  :)

Happy Birthday, Bear!

Today is my sweet Claire-bear's 6th birthday.  Is my "baby" girl already six?  Of course the time has passed by quickly, but in a way she seems so much older.  She is an old-soul, you might say.  Very wise for her young years.  She's our "little bit", our petite one, so it is always a surprise to hear such mature talk from such a small fry.  And she is cute, beautiful is more like it,  inside and out.  Always smiling and loving her pig-tails.... or "elephant ears".... she's called them that since she was two.  A happy and loving girl, sensitive and her heart always on her sleeve.  Theatrical and passionate, sometimes dramatic but surprisingly calm and level headed for one with such flair.  Quick to dance to any beat and will belt out a tune for any audience willing to look her way.  A heart that loves Jesus and cares for everything, living or not.  Especially those things that are tiny.  Defender of the cat, catcher of bugs, picker of flowers and giver of leaves to Mama.  She laughs at her own jokes and cries at movies.  A brilliant artist with talent beyond her years and an eye for detail.  In drawings and in life.  An honest heart, a friend to everyone, a giver of all that she has and my double hugger at bedtime.

You are beautifully made, Claire Rebecca, and I love seeing God use you in His very special way.  You are a gift to me, and I'm so glad I get to be your Mama.

A lesson in futility...

Christmas was wonderful and we are home now, after a long visit in Alabama made even longer by the snow.  

Now it is Sunday morning and I am already home from church.  Ken and the girls are still there, but the boys had reached their limit, so home we came.  Today, since it is raining, we got smart and took both cars to church.  That way, when the boys could no longer be still and outside wasn't an option, I could just quietly (at least, at quietly as is possible with 2 wiggly little boys) excuse myself from the service and escape to the tranquility of our house.

Today we made it through nearly 20 minutes of the service.  That may be a record.

We are at a place right now where Nathan refuses to go to the nursery (read: screams like he is on fire) and if I attempt to leave him there, I am paged within 5 minutes.  Jacob has alot of anxiety about church and the crowds of people he doesn't know, so Children's Church isn't an option for him.  Though he will sit quietly in church if I am with him, once I have to leave to take Nate out, that's over.  On nice weather days, we play outside until the service is finished. 

Every Sunday morning, we do this.  After the hours that is takes to dress all seven of us and tromp to the car and parade into the church, leaving after 20 minutes (or less) seems like a lesson in futility.  I feel like Paul, "beating the air."  

I keep reminding myself that this is just a season.  Granted, a season that we've been in for 9 1/2 years now, but a season none the less.  Lord willing, we will one day get to listen to a sermon and enjoy a worship service.  But that time is not now.

So why do we continue to do this?  Because.  Because God is faithful and has asked us to be.  Because we are teaching our children what our family is all about, the importance of corporate worship, the need to be apart of the body.  Because one day we will be able to sit through more than 20 minutes.  Because one day they will listen and learn and understand and be sustained.  Because 20 minutes of nourishment from the word is better that none..... because one day in His courts is better than 1000 elsewhere.

Today, in one of the hymns we got to sing while before we left, we sang Isaiah 66:12, the words of the Lord to Jerusalem, "For this is what the LORD says: "I will extend peace to her like a river..."

In His words to His people, He is speaking to me.  Extending to me peace, nourishing even when I don't expect it.  He has been faithful to me, even in this season.  What else could I expect but that He will continue to be?  He has promised this to me and to my children.  At a time in my life when teaching and worship with the body seems rare, He still knows what I need. And what a joy to see Him provide.

  "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."  Isaiah 40:11