But the longer answer is... yes, we are settling in. But it's a process.
It's not really that I expected it to be quick and easy. It's just that about a month after each move I remember how hard it really can be. The new starts to wear off. The boxes get unpacked. Then we have the start the unexpectedly hard part of a move.... just living here.
Church today was a good example of this. Last week we visited this same church. Loved it. Great PCA church, great people. Kids did okay... little ones didn't want to leave my side, but that's okay because it was our first Sunday, right?
We go back this week. To make a long story short, I wound up parading in and out of the sanctuary several times (when I would have preferred to be a wallflower), getting summonsed to the nursery, dealing with various melt-downs and, at one point, I even had 3 screaming children hanging off of my body at once.
Let's just say it wasn't a worshipful experience.
We left church after the service and I was in a funk, to say the least. I really, really dislike having to find a new church, meet new friends. I don't like being the new people and I really, really don't like being the new people with hyperventilating children hanging from every appendage. I mean really. We cause a scene on our best days. Throw in a few tantrums, and we're a regular sideshow.
But the more I've thought about this today, the more I've come to understand where I am in this settling in process. I'm realizing that this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint.
Our 8 year old has lived in 9 different houses. This is the 6th duty station for our 7 year old. Our 16 month old is already "settling in" at address #3. And so on and so forth. Is it really any wonder that we're dealing with some separation anxiety issues? Can you blame them for being a little clingy in a new place? Honestly, all things considered, I think they're handling things pretty well.
Right now, I'm holding on to the fact that we are not merely nomads, though it sometimes feels that way. God has called our family to this. That is one thing I am sure of. In the middle of a time when nothing seems steadfast, I know that He is my rock. He will never change. He will never leave me. He is the same Father to me, be I on the west coast or the east coast or somewhere in the middle. If my kids are afraid, He is their shield. When my husband is gone, He is my fortress.
So, today I would say that settling in to our new home here is hard. I'm overwhelmed, tired, lonely, bogged down and feeling less than joyful. How's that for a pity-party?
However, I know that I can rest on the Rock of my salvation. The One into whom I can settle and know that He is never changing. Trusting Him to protect my children through all of this, and to somehow use it all for His glory.
I want to walk in this truth everyday, but honestly, I'm not there yet. I wish I was. But I am praying for these things and trusting God for a friend here to remind me of these truths. I'm also praying for my sweet kids to find peace and joy here in the midst of everything new. God led us here, I'm sure of that. I know that He hears our prayers and will continue to guide us, just as He has before.
So, so very thankful that His mercies are new every morning.
6 comments:
This is why military families are my heroes. I thank you for serving our country this way. And God has a reason for you living this- like this hymn I recently fell in love with that ends "For by and by the mist will lift
And plain it all He’ll make.
Through all the way, tho’ dark to me, He made not one mistake."
Praying for your sweet family. I can only imagine how the kids' little minds and hearts are trying to make sense of it all. Bless you and Ken for all that you do for our country and all that you do for your little ones.
Grace and peace to you and your sweet little ones! Praying for you to keep have the strength to push through for the next mile of the marathon...maybe the next one will be downhill ;o)
You guys are really quite close to my brother and his family. I am not quite sure where he is stationed (there are so many naval bases there in the Norfolk,VA beach area). In fact, as I read about Ken being in RI, I realized that Danny had gone there a couple of years ago. Small world isn't it? I sure wish I could have seen you when you came to Headland, as I think of you often. Thanks for all the encouragement you give to me and so many others.
Oh dear sister...I'm with you. Laughed so hard at the causing a scene/side show comment. And seriously, I know you have my back on this one... could we not afford ALL the weddings for our girls if we took up an offering of $1 per "boy, you have your hands full!" comments? Oh dear. These are certainly "limiting" years but I have a feeling that once we finish that marathon, the medal at the end will be worth it. We're coming to visit just so we can laugh together. I don't know when- but one of these days when both our guys are gone- we should plan to have one big chaotic adventure together. Misery loves company, right? And girl, I'll come to your pity parties any day of the week! Love you my friend. Passing my favorite verse on to you...
"He tends His flock like a Shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11
You make known to me the path of life, in your presence there is fullness of joy, at your right hand are pleasures forevermore!!! Ps 16:11
This is the verse I cling to when I feel exactly like you are feeling in this post. As I read your post I looked up and there it is on a piece of artwork I painted to hang above my desk. I am convinced that nothing makes you realize this is not our home more than moving. As I read this post I completely feel what you are feeling. I know this post is a little old but I also know this feeling doesn't end for sometime. So today I am praying that you would find confidence in the plan he has for you and Ken, joy and pleasure in His presence.
Post a Comment